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19Jun2015

5 Things Parents Should Never Do To Their Children

 

“A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone” -Billy Graham

Parents always choose the best for their children.  When it’s about selecting the school, they often depend on institutions like KHDA and ADEC. Choosing the best school is not enough for the betterment of your child. Helping your child to become a better human being must be the top most priority.

Most parents are tired of the disrespectful attitude of their children. They believe that there is no way out of it and the only remedy is to ignore. Guess what? You can have control over your child’s behaviour without much effort.

Behaviour that cultivates disrespect in children and ways to tackle them:

  1. Over-react

Children get angry when parents express their frustration in different ways. They find it really annoying when you connect their kiddish behaviour personally or to the next level. Every time your child talks to you and spend time with you, never over-react for the little things you find annoying.

What the child feels: Its better not to communicate with parents, as they won’t understand us.

What you can do instead: Understand their problems. Be a friend to them. You won’t take the jokes and mistakes of your friend personally, right? That’s what works here too. Children might run out of track may be because of their frustration with studies or any other reason. Promote maximum interaction with children. What they need is your time.

  1. Dealing with other people

We understand that you might be tangled with the problems from the boss, loud neighbours and irritating family members. Your possibilities of having a bad day are far higher than your kids. That doesn’t mean you can showcase your problems before your children.

Kids are watching you. Never show your bad behaviour to anyone in front of them. And if you do, don’t be surprised when your kids do the same.

What the child feels: They never feel anything, they just imitate you!

What you can do instead:  Be what you want your kids to be. First be a good human being, then a good parent. That’s not hard.

  1. My child can never go wrong

“I will take the side of my child no matter what”, you think your child will love when you do this. Yes, of course but what you are doing to your children is not less than a crime.

For instance, if your children talks disrespectfully about their teachers for giving them tiring homework, never take their side. Even if you know that the home work is hectic, never join with your kid and complain about the teacher.  When you take the side of your child, you are showing them that it’s ok to be disrespectful to someone you are angry with.

What the child feels: Its ok to rude to someone you are anger with.

What to do instead: You don’t need to agree with someone in order to respect them. Regardless of how they feel, they should always respect their elders. Teach your child to deal with disagreements appropriately and calmly.

  1. Ignoring the good things

Notice the good things in your child’s behaviour. Appreciate them for their brighter side. Constantly reminding them about their mistakes and flaws can only make things worse. Appreciate them for what they are and not what you want them to be.

What the child feels: It’s impossible to impress parents. No need to be good all the time because it’s the flaws that always gets noticed.

What you should do instead: Kids respond positively to praise. They feel motivated to be better.

  1. Demanding respect

Demanding respect never works. It’s a misconception of parents that by the authority they can make their children do anything.  Ultimately respect is a feeling and you cannot force your child to feel something for you.

What the child feels: It’s just a rule to respect parents.

What to do instead:  Make them understand the importance of respect but don’t force them to do so. Let them realise that you are there for them.

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