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25Jun2015

4 Steps to Change Victim Mentality in Your Children

 

While parents evaluate schools depending on the rating of institutions like KHDA and ADEC, are they giving adequate importance to the mentality of children?

The answer is a plain NO. Even though you come across the mood fluctuations of children, you never take it seriously. To survive in the modern world, surpassing education is not enough; priority goes to the attitude.

One among the most prominent attitude problem in children is the feeling of being a victim – the victim mentality.

What is victim mentality?

Victim mentality is a rotten attitude where your child assumes that he/she is always the victim. That’s far beyond childish. And as a responsible parent, you must not ignore such instincts in your child.

Never ignore, listen!

“It’s not fair!”, “that’s not my fault”, you won’t understand”. These might be some among the countless yelling your child makes when upset. Normally you ignore it or just console them saying that things will be fine. But that’s not enough. The problem is with the mentality of the children. If he thinks himself to be a victim he will begin to feel like one.

But the good news is that you can change your child’s attitude.

Simple steps to set things on track!

“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.” – Steve Maraboli

  1. Be Clear: 

From their victim behaviour, it is clear that they are unaware about the difference between fair and unfair. With love and care, make them understand that life can be unfair sometimes but not always. Sharing with them your personal experiences of failure is also effective.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “Life can be biased sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it will be like this forever”

X “There is nothing like fair and unfair, it’s your fault”

2. Solve It

If your child faces any problem that makes him/her the victim, ask them how they are going to deal with it. To run away or to blame about problems is not the right way of dealing it. Encourage your children to keep trying until they succeed.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “It’s just part of life, how you handle it is important.”

X “You cannot succeed, I knew it”

3. Don’t argue

If you realise that the child is being treated unfairly, never argue with them for the opposite. If his/her teacher is treating your child badly then don’t ignore. Listen to them and talk to them about the problems and make them believe that, you are there for them.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “It’s not your fault but theirs. Don’t worry about anything. I am here for you”

X   “That teacher always treats you badly. I don’t think she likes you”

4. Responsibilities

Taking care of your child every time your child feels a victim is good. But you must never ignore that you should teach them to take responsibilities of their actions as well. It can be chaos at first but later this will fetch confidence and courage in your child.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • Be yourself and that’s not tough

X If you want me to do anything, obey me

#Always remember

Change doesn’t happen overnight. You should bring it and it might take time, but never be disheartened. The core function of our plan is to make our children responsible individuals with a positive outlook towards life.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow” - Helen Keller

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